From Shrinking to Showing Up: 3 Bold Confidence Shifts Every Professional and Veteran Woman Needs

I remember when I first left the military and opened my fitness studio.

Everything was new.
No chain of command.
No formations.
Just me, a blank studio floor, and a vision.

And I’ll never forget the moment I received my very first payment—not for following orders, but for using my expertise. My knowledge. My presence.

That’s when it hit me.

I had always associated confidence with the rank on my chest or the mission I was given. But that day, it came from within. It wasn’t about a title. It was about owning my value—and watching someone else recognize it, too.

One of my clients invited me to a networking event, and to be honest—I found myself intimidated.
I was second-guessing myself, watering down my voice, and waiting to be invited instead of stepping in fully.

And I know I’m not alone.

Whether you're a professional woman climbing the civilian leadership ladder, a veteran navigating the identity shift after service, or a trailblazer redefining your next chapter—you’ve likely felt the tension between shrinking and showing up.

As a transformational coach and someone who’s rebuilt confidence from the inside out, I want to walk you through three game-changing mindset shifts that helped me move from hesitation to bold embodiment.

These aren’t quick fixes.
They’re recalibrations.
And they work—because they’re rooted in who you already are.

1. Reframe Competence as Confidence

You’ve done hard things. Led under pressure. Adapted on the fly.
But somehow, in new rooms, that deep experience can feel invisible.

The truth is, you’ve already built competence at elite levels.
What’s missing isn’t skill.
It’s the story you tell yourself about your skill.

I coach so many women—especially those coming out of service—who downplay their expertise because it doesn’t come wrapped in corporate buzzwords or Ivy League packaging.

But confidence isn't volume. It’s clarity.

✅ Try this:
Write a one-paragraph brag bio—not for your résumé, but for your belief system.
Read it out loud until it feels like truth.
Confidence grows when your inner voice and outer actions are finally speaking the same language.

2. Stop Waiting for a Seat—Start Building the Table

Let’s be honest: women, and particularly veteran women, are taught to wait our turn.
To earn the right.
To check all the boxes.
To not take up too much space.

But the truth is: we’re not here to fit into systems that were never built with us in mind.

Confidence doesn’t come from being allowed in. It comes from deciding you belong.

I’ve learned that showing up boldly sometimes means creating the opportunities no one handed you.

Start the business. Launch the program. Apply for the grant. Ask for the raise.

✅ Ask yourself:
What would I do today if I stopped asking for permission and started walking in alignment?

You don’t need another invitation.
You are the invitation.

3. Own Your Story—Unfiltered

So many of us edit our truth to make others comfortable.
We soften our edges. We skip the hard parts. We over-polish.

But the strongest women I know are the ones who’ve stopped outsourcing their power.

They own their story—all of it.
The pivots.
The pain.
The breakthroughs.

Why?
Because your story isn’t baggage.
It’s a blueprint.
It’s the reason someone else will feel seen, heard, and empowered.

✅ Reflect on this:
What part of your story are you still hiding or shrinking?
What becomes possible when you lead with it instead of despite it?

That’s where boldness lives—not in perfection, but in presence.

Final Word: Boldness Isn’t Loud—It’s Rooted

Confidence isn’t about being louder.
It’s about being rooted.

Rooted in what you’ve survived.
Rooted in what you believe.
Rooted in what you're here to shift, lead, and ignite.

So the next time you feel yourself shrinking, second-guessing, or silencing your brilliance—pause.
Plant your feet.
Take a breath.

And remember: You’ve already commanded in chaos. You can own this room, too.

Want Support in Showing Up Boldly?

I created the OWNIT™ Workbook as a free resource for high-capacity women—especially veterans and professionals—who are ready to stop shrinking and start standing in their power.

It walks you through how to:

• Own your story and your voice

• Reconnect with your purpose

• Create bold goals from a place of clarity, not survival

🎯 Grab your copy here: Download Your FREE Workbook